Hello!
Here are some great pics from the last few days, we have been busy with holiday stuff and visiting with my dad.
The first one is from yesterday when I took my dad OUTSIDE FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 2 MONTHS!!!! I wheeled him in a wheelchair for a half hour out in the courtyard to get some sun and breathe some fresh air; I think he really enjoyed it. There is a bitter sweetness to all of these firsts since my dad is doing something he hasn't done since the accident and he realizes how his life has changed and how weak he is. I know he misses his old life and independence, but I am confident it will be back after a lot of hard work. I visited with my dad yesterday on my own since my mom was sick so we got to really hang out. he sat in the chair for most of the visit and was awake the whole time which is a first since he started rehab. He is still trying to get his days and nights back to normal. It is really common for patients who go through ICU to get them mixed up since they never stop over there and it takes a while to get back on schedule, but the therapy in rehab during the day is starting to get him on track.
I am here until the 1st so I have a few more days with my dad and then back to reality. I can't wait to come back soon and see the difference that will happen now that he is getting stronger and stronger!
-Carrie

HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!!!It has been such a pleasure to come back to Florida and visit with my father after not seeing him for over two weeks. The last time I saw him he was still in ICU, which is drastically different than how he is now. When I first arrived to the hospital and went to his room in the rehabilitation wing and saw him smile at me with that funny, little boy grin, I was so elated and thought "this is the best present one could ask for this holiday season". The past three days have provided me with such hope and reassurance that my father will do well in his recovery and be with us for some time to come. He even said "this Christmas is kind of a wash, but I am still alive". And we could not have made it this far without all the love and support of our friends and family, so thank you for providing us with strength, positive energy and healing prayers.

Today my dad was more alert, despite the three hours of therapy he had this morning. He had 5 women visitig his today, which may have something to do with how awake he was...my dad rarely misses an opportunity to be the charmer that he is!
He was so happy to see his family, as well as my Aunt Jinny and cousin Alyson who is visiting us for a few nights. Carrie and I bought him a new fancy electric razor because the other day when we arrived, he was sitting in his wheelchair at the sink trying to shave himself!! The razor he was using was kind of outdated, so we decided to splurge and get him the new pivot head Norelco and what a good idea that was. He was able to use it today and felt much better after getting off the scratchy hair that he has been complaining about. He also told us a funny story about three nurses trying to get his pants on him this morning. He said what a job that was and that it was a funny sight! So overall he has made some major improvements since I saw him last and I could not be happier right now. He is definintely on the road to recovery and making strides every day.

It has been a strange and interesting holiday season not having my dad at home to decorate the tree with, or play bad holiday music and disagree about the volume, or to have my dad spray that awful pine tree in a can smell so that the fake tree somehow appears real, or to open our presents with the funny name tags that my mom gets a kick out of writing and laughs at herself about. But in actuality it has been the best holiday ever because my wish did come true...my dad is back.
Love, Tracy

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!HAPPY HANUKKAH!!!

Well Dad is slowly getting settled into rehab. It is very different than the hospital which is great but is also a big adjustment for everyone. I am sure the nurses think we are a little crazy but, we are the Pollacks after all so I am sure they are right!

Here is a picture from today, my mom was opening a present my dad had ordered before his accident and had stashed in his office which my mom had found when she began to go through some of his stuff in the beginning of this ordeal. My dad has actually mentioned it twice to me to make sure she got it which I think is a very encouraging sign that he remembered it and he actually told me what was inside of it before so I knew what it was. He ordered her a pug handbag which she loved.

Notice in the picture that although my dad was in bed, he was fully dressed because he had already had 3 hours of rehab before we arrived! This is his second day in rehab and he has been pretty tired. When he first arrived they told us that the first few days were going to be pretty rough for him since he hasn't even really gotten out of bed in almost 2 months! So to start right away with 3 hours of therapy tires him out and he will adjust to it in time. So, he meets with a speech therapist which helps him with talking and swallowing, then occupational therapy which helps him with getting dressed, hygiene, etc. and physical therapy which is working with his body. I think I would be tired too! Yesterday my sister arrived and he was happy to see her. We were able to wheel him around in a wheel chair and go on an adventure in the hospital for a change of scenery. So, the rehab updates will continue!

Hoping everyone has a great and safe holiday! Thanks for all of your continuous support, it has been a pretty strange holiday season for us but I am really thankful that my dad is getting better everyday!

xo
Carrie, Tracy, Linda and Hal

Dear Family and Friends,

Well Hooray! HAL WENT TO REHAB today.
Not without problems though. The minute he got there he had more "catheter/urology" problems. Trying to find the right one when it comes to emergency re-catheterization can turn into a huge, painful and timely problem...and it did. Many changes and many tries, and about 4 hours later they finally solved the problems. Needless to say, the Urologist is consulting first thing tomorrow morning.
Thank Goodness Carrie was with me, so we suffered through this together, knowing how he was suffering.
So, I have a feeling his first full day tomorrow in Rehab will be a little easier than it might have been. BUT,I am looking forward to reporting to all of you when he starts walking, and improvements with speech therapy, and sitting by himself, etc. He is already keeping his eyes open and holding his head on his own.
I always knew it would be "baby steps", and I am so grateful to see the improvements taking place.

I thank all of you over and over again, for your care and concern. My hope is great and i just know we will be bring him home someday in the future..and that is enough for me.

Carrie and Tracy join me in wishing all of you wonderful holidays.

With love,
Linda

Hello everyone...Carrie here.

Well, my Dad was not quite ready to go to rehab today and although we are anxious to get him going we also don't want to move him unless he is absolutely ready. The nurses are taking great care of him and if they have decided he needs a few more days of rest then that is ok.

We have a few more things we need to get in order before he is in the best shape to begin working out in rehab. They did some blood tests today and we are going to find out some results tonight. We think he has become anemic and so when his blood levels go down in this area then he gets really sleepy so they we will see if that is the case. He is also having some problems with his catheter and that is making him uncomfortable, I mean come on, of course it would! He has had a catheter in for 7 weeks now and it is just irritating him and he is not quiet ready to have it out so they are having a urologist look at him tomorrow. In my mind these are all things that have been happening since he entered into the hospital but when you are in ICU they are dealing with the most pressing issues first so now that those issues are ok they are now working on the next stuff.

We will keep you posted, my mom had really hoped to see him moved today and she is a little down but I think this is part of the healing process, one step forward and one step back, some days are good and some days are not so good. The important thing is he is moving in the right direction so keep being positive, I am doing my best!

Hello All, Carrie here to report on todays events in the step down clinic...
Here is a pic of my dad sitting on the edge of the bed right before he stood up and made it to the chair for some more upright sitting, something I have not seen since before the surgeries!
It was tiring but he wanted to do it and then did it, of course with some help from his physical therapist Margarhete. Also of note he is really moving his left arm better and was squeezing her hand and rotating his wrist, we told him he has to get ready for some tennis soon! This has been his weak side so to see the movement coming back is great. Another thing was that when he grabbed Margarhete's ID badge (because he likes to joke with the nurses) he began to look at it so we asked him if he could read her last name and he did! Alverz he says...My dad has not been able to read and when we have given him things to read or look at he gets a puzzled look on his face so, this is a BIG deal! His brain is slowly coming back and remembering things. There are still time when he seems confused but I think that it is just taking time for his brain to put things back together. He was also able to tell me what time it was and knew when it was getting closer to 5pm because that is when visiting hours are over.

Dad has been in better spirits these days and I can see his sense of humor shining though in almost everything which is great. Today when I talked to him about the new feeding tube in his stomach which allows him to move around better, he asked what was "on the menu" HA HA! He is having a lot of fun with the suction appliance which is helping him to get rid of all the phelm in his chest still and when I started yawning he stuck it in my mouth for fun...I love seeing this in my dad because this is how I remember him, smiles and jokes. He had a way of making people feel at ease and all the nurses love him.

The other big news is we think he will be moving into rehab tomorrow!!!!! he now has the trach and the nose feeding tube out and is moving around more and is more alert so they want to get him there so he can get out of the hospital! We were also told that the dogs can visit him in rehab which he has been talking about dexter and hiro and I know he would love to see his buddies!

So, hopefully tomorrow I will be writing about a whole new adventure and being one step closer to home which we are anxiously awaiting his return!!!!

Dear Family and Friends,

Well, things are moving in a very positive direction.

Having Carrie here has been fantastic and I think has spurred Hal on to making some gigantic strides in the last few days since she has been here. She has boosted my spirits as well, and keeps my thoughts very positive. Her arrival was very timely.

Hal did fail the third "swallow test" but I have been convinced that this is not a big deal. They went forward with removing the trach, and will be putting in a "peg" in his side which will feed him directly into the stomach instead of the feeding tube down his nose. Being that they are able to do this will get him into Rehab sooner....which is the GOAL at this point.

He is now able to talk, a little garbled, but understandable for the most part.

He continues to love the "pampering". And says, FEET! Meaning he wants a foot massage. He knows he can ask for hand massage or face lotion to be applied.
Well, he knows not to ask for anything better than that!!!

Please everyone continue the good thoughts and the prayers, this is what has gotten him to this "good place", and Carrie is right he has loved hearing her read the wonderful cards that all of you have sent.

Carrie and Tracy join me in thanking you.

With love, Linda

Hi Everyone, this is Carrie here....sending out some funny pics from today with my dad. The first one is dad sticking his tongue out at me while I was laughing at him getting a much needed shave from my mom. The second one is a nice big smile I got when I told him I was taking his picture for everyone. It was really great to see my dad after being away for 2 weeks. My mom had been telling me how sleepy he had been and what I saw was very different! Yesterday I heard him talk after being silent for 6 weeks!!! I laughed my ass off when the first thing out of his mouth was "get me out of here!" It re-assured me though because that is my dad to a tee! They have given him a smaller trach that we can cap so sound can come out when he speaks.
We have been having many conversations now that he can talk and he is trying to put things together and figure out things which is a little hard for him now, his brain is making new connections so his memory and such is not so good. We did get a great welcoming today that let us know he knows who we are, my mom and I walked in at noon to find dad working with the speech pathologist and she asked him who we were and he said "my best friends" and then she asked him but who are they, he told her my wife and daughter and then she asked him what are our names were and he replied, "lovely linda and carrie". That was the best christmas present I could have ever asked for! Some of you who have been following the blog know that for a while dad said he didn't know who we were. I think he didn't know how to put it together but that he did "know" who we were but he couldn't say our names so this was a big deal! It made me very happy and today was a fun day. Lots of activities with the shaving and then we gave him a shampooing and conditioning since he hadn't had one since he went into the hospital 6 weeks ago, he looked like a new man! The towel on his head was a cool cloth since he was saying he was hot, I think he kinda looked like a mummy.

He is still having trouble swallowing so we also practiced some of that today and tonight in hopes of him passing the swallow test which will then enable the doctors to take the trach out and get him into rehab!!!

My dad asked me yesterday where were all of the sympathy cards since I had been telling him about how everyone was calling and emailing, etc so today I brought in the stack of cards and read every single one of them to him. I want everyone to know how happy this made my dad, he loved knowing everyone was thinking of him and I asked him do you know who they are and he replied yes, I think it is all coming back to him just slowly and in bits. Your cards were all awesome and I enjoyed reading them since it was the first time I had seen them as well. Thank you all very much.

So today was a great day and I am hoping for tomorrow to be just as good, if not better. Thank you for the cards and the support and special thanks to the people who have been checking in on my mom. I will be here until the 2nd and tracy arrives the 23 and stays till the 28th. Our cousins Alyson and Laura will also be coming for a few days to check in on us which will be nice.

till tomorrow...

HI EVERYONE!

Well first of all our daughter, Carrie, arrived late yesterday, and needless to say, I am so glad to have her here. She is staying until after the first of the year, so it is a nice long visit.

Yesterday with Hal was quite uneventful, because he was too sleepy to even wake up when I pestered him. I have decided I must be pretty boring, because when I came today with Carrie he perked up, stayed awake all afternoon and was so delighted to see her.

One of the reasons for the last two days of sleepiness is that when they did a blood test early this morning, they found that he is once again anaemic, and started transfusions this afternoon.

They also decreased the size of his trachea, and because it is a different size and shape, we are able to cover the trachea and he is actually able to say words. SO, we heard his voice this afternoon for the first time in over 6 weeks. Guess what he said? GET ME OUT OF HERE...
I WANT TO GO HOME. Thank God. That is the Hal we know.

The not so great thing of the day, is that he failed his swallow test for the second time. He has to show them that he is able to swallow before they take out the traehea and start him on food, and of course that is when he will REALLY be able to talk.

I am still extremely hopeful, and all involved are trying to get him ready and able to get to rehab, where no doubt he will make rapid progress.

SEE< all of your thoughts, prayers, cards and concerns, are really helping to get this man well again. Our daughters Carrie and Tracy, and I, thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

With love, Linda

Dear Family and Friends,

Sorry I did not post yesterday, but have news today.
I spent all afternoon doing a "Hal beautification session". It was pedicure and manicure time.
And for the first time ever I gave my husband a shave. In ICU they were able to shave him with a razor, but in the "Step Down" they are not allowed. So I did it, and it came out so so. I think I will take his electric razor in tomorrow.

The trauma doctor changed his trachea to a smaller one that will enable him to try to swallow easier. They will be doing another swallow test on Mon. or Tues. since he failed the first one a few days ago. This would be a huge step because it is the first and most important step toward
getting rid of the trachea altogether and on to eating real food and to talking.

He is now totally off the ventilator and breathing through the wind sprints. Without the trachea he will also do without the wind sprints, and breathe completely on his own. SO< as you can see
this "swallow test" can lead to pretty important things.

Things are progressing, slowly, but as long as, surely, I am happy. I do feel really hopeful, and knowing that Hal is a fighter, makes it more attainable.

Thank you all for your prayers, and cards, and good thoughts. It means so much.

With love, Linda

Hello ALL:

I hope am not getting ahead of myself, but I actually have some good news today.

The REHAB center has taken Hal on as a personal challenge. SO< they are trying to expedite
getting him into rehab. WHICH WOULD BE WONDERFUL!!!!!!!

He has to be able to perform certain tasks, and today, he was able to sit in a chair for 10 mins. I can't say he looked entirely comfortable, but so what...that was the first of the tasks he is required to perform, and HE DID IT!

He is tolerating the "wind sprints" instead of the ventilator, and is taking the 10 min ventilator treatments with the medicine for the fluid in his lungs, and the medicine seems to be working.

He held his nurse's hand today for at least five minutes, because he knew that she was getting ready to suction his trachea (and he hates it), so this showed both of us that he was aware of what was going to happen, and what he needed to do to try to prevent it. Remember when I told all of you that his progress was going to be "baby steps". Well this might be a "baby step", but it shows me that his brain/personality is able to think, and to me it is HUGE.

Thank you all of you for your cards, and your individual display of love and concern.

With love, Linda

Dearest Family and Friends,

Day Two of "Step Down"....not the level care of ICU, but we have to go through this to get to Rehab.

Wonderful cardiologist, has ordered new/different doses of blood pressure medicine, and hopefully that will kick in soon and make a difference in his pressure and heart rate. Also, ordered additional meds to be added to the respiratory treatments to help with the heavy edema in his lungs.

They did a "swallow test" today, but he did not do well. This is all for the correct direction to be able to take out the trachea. He is doing well off the ventilator for the six hours period at a time, but this all has to be coordinated with the swallow test, off the ventilator permanently and then they will be able to take out the trachea. At that point he can begin talking....which means I can begin asking questions, and then he can be driven crazy by my interrogation, and will probably appreciate the silence he has had up to then.

Anyway, lots of unknown matter flying around the atmosphere, but it means we are going SOMEWHERE!! All we can do is hope.

The best evidence is I can see that he is BORED and losing patience. This is the Hal we all know.

Thank you for all of the love you have shown us....the cards are wonderful, and are taken to the hospital to be read out loud to Hal.... they always deserve a smile.

With great appreciation and love, Linda

EVERYONE HOPE!!!!!!!!!!


Today Hal was moved to the "Step Down" facility after 5 1/2 weeks in Intensive Care.

YES< This is a good thing, but VERY SCARY.

I am happy, but the level of care is different, and today he pulled out his feeding tube while I was there. NOT good, but his sense of humor (?) when I finally got the nurse in by yelling down the hall for help, kicked in. Her very calm response was, "Mr. Pollack, you are not supposed to do that". HIS RESPONSE: he pointed to me...like, I didn't do it, SHE did it! So that is definitely the Hal I know. That's a good sign.

When I say "scary", please everyone put on their extra "good thoughts" and prayers, because I think we really need it. All of a sudden everything is new and all the faces are new. Instead of seeing familiar nurses directly in front of you, and able to be told and educated to everything going on, it's all very different.

Thank you, thank you , to everyone. Please don't forget us. I love you all ...family, friends, and neighbors.
I don't know what I would do without you.

LOVE, Linda

Dear all,

I cannot compete with the wonderful "blogs" that my daughters write, but I still feel responsible for keeping everyone up to date.

They did not move Hal today to "step down", but he is in line for the first available room, probably tomorrow or the next day. It is as Tracy said in the previous "blog" we have all become very comfortable with the ICU and the staff, but I do feel that moving him will be a very positive step, and will put us on the road to getting him to Rehab.

Today, he did very well off the ventilator. And, when the physical therapist came in we were able to get him in a sitting position with his legs dangling. He was not able to sit up without support, but was able to hold his head up himself. This is the first time I have seen him in a sitting position in more than 5 weeks.

He nods and shakes his head, smiles, and certainly lets us know when he is NOT happy by putting on a particularly sad frown. But considering the situation, I think his spirits are pretty good.

Thank you to everyone for your continued good thoughts and prayers.

With love, Linda

Well, we received some really good news today that we are happy to share: they will be transferring dad to a stepdown room in the next day or so because the doctors and nurses feel he is ready to be in a "less restrictive environment" (ok, so it is a special ed term, but it in no way reflects dad's level of functioning- we hope:). He has been able to tolerate being off the ventilator off and on for over 24 hours, his blood pressure is better regulated, and he is incredibly bored and needs a change of scenery, as well as the motivation to become active again.

Although this is all good news, we are incredibly frightened and ambivalent about not only him leaving the comfort of the ICU, but us having to leave the safety of the continual contact with the nurses, as well as familiarity with the routine we have had for the last 5 weeks. I think it is harder for the family to deal with the change than the patient. Dad can't wait to get out of there, but we are a bit more reluctant. We have come to know, love, and feel comfortable with the nurses and doctors and we have trusted them with our fathers' and husbands' care. It is hard to try something different, but as I tell all my clients, if you always do what you have always done, then you will always get what you always got...and I don't want dad to stay stuck doing what he is doing right now, so as fearful as we are, we are also thrilled with the prospects ahead of us. I keep telling myself, my sister and my mother, it is ok to be scared; we are unsure of what is ahead of us, but as long as we stick together, we can get through this despite our fear.

I am leaving early tomorrow morning to head back to work so I can deal with everyone else's problems (which is a good distraction at times, at others I am like "are you serious?!"), and Carrie comes back next weekend, so mom may need some added support in the next week while we are away. For those of you that have continued to call, write, mail cards, put food in the fridge (you know who you are!!), and send healing energy, please continue to do so. All of your kind gestures are so appreciated, and if the favors need be returned if you are ever in a time of need, you know you can count on us because that is what loved ones are for!!

Love, Tracy

Real friendship is shown in times of trouble; prosperity is full of friends. Euripedes

Well, even though this is dad's typical position, he would certainly rather be resting in the confines of his own comfy home with his partner, Dexter, as opposed to the ICU bed where he has been for 5 weeks now. My mom and I went to visit him today and I was really excited to see him. He appeared to be glad to see me, and when my mother tested him as to who I was, he gave her the "stink eye", as in "who are you kidding lady?!" My mom likes to do that to him; she quizzes him about his knowledge to see if there has been memory loss, and more often than not, after she throws in a wrong answer, dad will provide this look as if to say "you are the idiot, not me." This look is reassurance to all of us who know my father.

He was certainly more alert than when I last saw him, which was prior to and right after the last surgery he had. He is more interactive, and is able to indicate through nonverbal gestures some of his needs and requests. The cardiologist did a consult yesterday and has changed the blood pressure meds, which is one of the sole reasons he is still in the ICU. Hopefully they will take the desired effect and we can begin to look towards the step-down environment. He was also off the vent for 5 hours this morning, and then again as we were leaving afternoon visiting hours. So these are all signs of progress. I tried to use a communication board with him today, but unfortunately the one they could find in the ICU was in Spanish, so when I pointed to a picture of a person with lightning bolts to the body and the caption "tienes dolor?" dad looked at me like "who are you kidding?"; I suppose instead of one understanding that meant do you have pain in the body, someone who does not speak Spanish would understandably believe the person was being electrocuted. So we will wait until they can dig up one in English. A second language was not a requirement when dad was in school, back in the olden days...

So, all in all, he is doing as well as can be. Now his spirits and mood are a different story. Imagine laying in a bed in the same position for 5 weeks, without the ability to talk, move part of your body, eat, walk, etc...It is difficult to imagine but I know I would be bored, irritated, depressed, annoyed, fidgety, and angry. So trying to make him laugh is part of the daily routine, and empathizing with his current condition. We just can't wait to bring him home, but we will have to wait...it is still a ways away.

Thanks again to all who ready this regularly, and who send cards, positive and healing energy, call, pray, and keep us in your thoughts. We appreciate the show of love and support more than you could ever know.

Love, Tracy

Hi Everyone,

Not a lot to report tonight.
Hal had a very good night of sleep Thurs. night, so he was alert today.

The cardiologist was in today. This is for the purpose of finding out why his blood pressure and heart rate is so erratic, even though he is on the same medication prior to the incident/hospital that was doing its job before.

The doctor ordered quite a few tests, and assured me that he would come up with a solution. I must admit, I liked the doctor very much and felt really confident in his choices. This just continues to confirm my confidence in all the doctors and nurses at St. Mary's. It is really an awesome facility.

The good news is that Tracy is arriving at PBI in about an hour, and I will be really happy to see her.

Love to all of you,
Linda

Dear Family and Friends.

Today was a really good day, that made me very hopeful.
Hal was alert, even though I was told he did not sleep well last night. But, to me that means he understands I am there for only specific( ICUhours only) and if he sleeps through my visit he misses it.

He seemed to understand and nodded or shook his head when I asked a question. This made me feel he is becoming more aware of not only his surroundings, but whatever is asked of him.

I have asked for a cardio consult , and it has been arranged for tomorrow morning,because I see this as an impediment at this point. Hi s irregular heartbeat and his erratic blood pressure are an involvement everyday in his breathing, which right now is so important. We will wait to see what the doctor says.

But I am very hopeful, and thank all of you for all the praying and the wonderful thoughts that are coming from around the globe.

I am so thankful for living in a community such as this where my neighbors are giving me such a great support system.

And goes without saying the support and love from our families.

With love, Linda

Hi all,

Hal was very alert today, and according to the nurses "actually frisky".

Janey his nurse yesterday and today, said when she bent over him he took the pen from her pocket and then did not want to give it back to her.

I had to wrestle the tissue box from him after he gently swatted her on the arm when she started to suction him because of the fluid that has accumulated in his lungs. And, because of that he was 4 hrs. on and off the ventilator, so for now that is a little bit of a step back.

BUT, are we seeing a little of the old Hal in these little acts of childlike behavior? Is this him saying, "I'm still here, don't count me out yet" ? I am very hopeful when I see this behavior, this is the man I know. All of the nurses keep telling me how much better he is doing, and this is the progress in the ICU they thy crave to see.

I think we have a long road ahead, but it is so helpful to see some positives.

Please continue the thoughts and prayers. It means so much to Carrie, Tracy and me.
With love, Linda

I can't believe it will be 5 weeks this coming Sat.

I miss my dad. I cannot explain how excited I am to go and see him this weekend. I want to see what progress he has made, I want to spend time holding his hand, watching TV with him, telling him about what I have been up to. It has been so hard to be away from him. It is difficult to explain what it is like not being there, with my eyes not on him to see for myself what it is that the nurses are reporting over the phone. It is also difficult to think that while I am up and about, going about my daily routine, my father has been confined to an ICU bed for over a month now. I think about him all throughout the day. My mind continually wanders back to how he is doing and what he is up to at the moment. I find it strange, yet probably understandable, that as I sit with my clients, I can relate anything they are speaking about back to my father. He is just always in my thoughts and he saturates everything I think, feel and do. I love him so much and want him to know how much I need him in my life. I have always admired his quiet wisdom and how uncomplicated he tried to live. I am definitely trying to incorporate these teachings in my daily life because I certainly need to keep things simple right now. When everything else feels so complex, I think about the love I have for my father and I smile, because it is so innocent and pure.
Love you dad,
Tracy

HI ALL<

Well Today was a good day.
Hal had a CT Scan early this morning and the results showed a minimum amount of blood remaining, which translates into what he can absorb on his own. And, this is good news.

When I arrived today, he had been on the wind sprints (meaning off the ventilator) since 8:30 a.m. and was doing very well. When I left at 5p.m. he was still off the ventilator, and still doing well.

He seemed more alert than yesterday, and seemed to understand everything I was saying to him. When I told him that Hillary Clinton had been named Secy of State, he gave a "thumbs up".
Thank God, he remembers my training.

The nurses think he is doing much better, and love the waves he gives to them off and on. He is directly across from the nurses station so they can watch him constantly.

I miss him at home...and so do Dexter and Hiro....but we all have hope that he will be home sometime.

Please keep up the prayers and good thoughts, I appreciate them more than you will ever know.

Love, Linda

Hello Family and Friends,

Hal was a bit sleepy today. He had a fever; they think it is due to the fluid in his lungs.
He also has a femoral clot close to his groin, but they are not worried about that, because of the filter they put in to prevent clots being thrown to his heart or brain....I am learning new things everyday.
The nurses in ICU are wonderful, and they tell me not to worry about these things, that they are very common in trauma patients.
I am still very hopeful for a full recovery, and ask they everyone continue the prayers and good thoughts. I cannot tell you how much that means to me and to our daughters, who by the way, will be back this coming weekend.
With love and appreciation to all you,
Linda

Hi everyone,

This will be a short report tonight.
Hal is about the same as yesterday, BUT the good news is they are trying to keep him off the ventilator and on the "windsprints" all day, today. That means he would be breathing on his own for the entire day, and that would be fabulous.
I will find out tomorrow if he made it, and of course, will let you know.
Keep up the good thoughts and prayers.
Love, Linda

Hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving.
I did not post yesterday, because after spending the afternoon with Hal, I went to good friends to share in a Thanksgiving celebration.
I spent all afternoon with Hal today and he was alert, but frustrated because he wanted to tell me something, but of course cannot talk as yet. He still does not have the motion of fingers on his left hand so he could not write either. But, I still felt that this was a good sign that the mind was telling him to try to do something.
The respiratory therapist was giving him 4 hours off of the ventilator. 4 on then 4 off to see how he does. When he is able to breathe on his own without the help of the ventilator or the windsprints, he will be able to talk soon after, and that will reveal his cognitive awareness. So needless to say, this process is very important, but no telling how long this might take. But, I am very hopeful with the recent improvements.
He still has the drain in his head, but the doctor said they would probably be able to remove that in the next few days. So I feel hopeful and thankful.
Please continue the good thoughts, vibes, and prayers. Obviously, it is all working.
With love, Linda

Dear Family and Friends,
This might be the first time I am actually able to give some really good news.
I think the surgery on Monday to remove the clot that was still situated on the brain, and the drain they placed there that is still in place has really made a difference.
When I visited Hal today, he was more alert than I have seen him. He had been off the ventilator for 3 hours, and he stayed awake for the full 4 hours that I was there.
He is lifting his left arm and his left leg, which he had not been able to do before.
I feel really positive about what I saw today.
The good thoughts, prayers and good Karma are working. Keep up the good work all of you.
From the bottom of my heart I thank all of you for everything you do. My daughters, Carrie and Tracy join me in these thoughts.
Happy Thanksgiving to all of you and your families.
With love to you all, Linda

This is my dad eating birthday ice cream cake. He and I always had a thing for Carvel ice cream. When I was a kid I remember how he always asked Carrie and I if we wanted to get ice cream after dinner; although we rarely said no, I now know he was the one who wanted it the most!!! He always loved sweets so much!! This is definitely where I got my sweet tooth from. I heard he is doing well today, which makes me so happy. I wish I could be there with him right now so I could tell him how much I love him and what a wonderful father he is, but I know he knows how I feel even though I am not there. He knows it because there is always a connection between us, even when we are miles apart. I love you dad with all my heart. You are on my mind every moment of the day and I keep you close to my heart as I go through my daily routine. Everything I do I have you in mind. You are the best.
You are so special to me and I love you.
Tracy

Tuesday, Nov. 25

Hi dear family and friends,

Today, one day after Hal's second surgery, he is showing improvement.
When I came to ICU today, they had Hal in a reclining chair/bed. Something new, to give him a more upright position.
He recognized me the moment I came into the room, and immediately wanted to start talking to me. Of course, still on the ventilator and with the tracheotomy, there was no way I could understand the whispering, guttural sounds, but to me this was a breakthrough that he wanted to say something.
The CT scan they did early this morning showed an improvement in the amount of blood in the brain. The drain they put in his skull is still draining blood, and the nurse said that today it looked very dark, indicating old blood, so it is very good that they are getting this out.
I am trying not to get too excited, but all of this is very GOOD NEWS.
Please keep the prayers and good thoughts going. They are occurring from East Coast to West Coast, and I cannot thank all of you enough.
All the nurses and doctors today were praising our daughters for the devotion they have shown to their Dad and to me during this trying ordeal. I am very grateful for them. They have given me strength I am not sure I would have had without them.
Hopefully, I will have more good news tomorrow.

Love to you all, Linda

Hi dear friends,

I just dropped Carrie and Tracy off at the airport. They had evening flights to get back to their responsibilities. I don't know what I would have done without them this weekend, or throughout this whole ordeal, for that matter.
Hal had the surgery today, a little after 12 noon. We were able to see him about 3pm. His neurosurgeon removed what was described as a sizeable clot, after drilling a "bore hole" through his skull above his forehead on the right side. They evacuated the clot, and put in a drain to remove the spinal fluid and the blood remaining. As I understand it, this was blood that accumulated after the first surgery, most likely still due to the residual blood thinner that was in his system. His neurosurgeon thought this was possibly the reason he was having the atrophy on his left side, so felt it was definitely worth the risk the surgery would bring.
We were very pleased when we saw Hal after the surgery, and are hopeful that this will be helpful
I am going back to the hospital tonight for the 1 hour of ICU visitation to see if he has improved since we left at 4pm today.
As always, thankyou for your prayers, thoughts, and notes.
Special thanks to the "Patriot Saint of the Garage Refrigerator"...You know who YOU are!!!!

With special appreciation, Linda

Weekend update

Well, we have had a stressful weekend in that the neurosurgeon wanted to perform another surgical procedure on dad in which he would make a "burr hole" and drain the fluid and blood that still remains on the brain. He reported that he is concerned about this for a few reasons; one being that he believes it may be why dad does not have as much mobility in his left side as his right, the other is that the blood is thin and he worries about it becoming thinner and spreading in his brain again. So we prepared for this procedure to be done today, however they cannot anticipate what trauma emergencies might arise during the day, and that is exactly what happened. Dad's surgery was pushed back until later in the day and then it was cancelled due to lack of time. The neurosurgeon said he would consult with other attending neurosurgeon tomorrow and a decision would be made as to whether or not the procedure will be done and when. Carrie and I changed our flights because we wanted to be with dad before and after the surgery, so we are both flying out tomorrow evening if all goes as planned. Dad is doing as well as can be expected right now. He is still lethargic and confused at times; other times his personality shines through and we know he is understanding what is going on. Again, we will update the blog when we know more about the procedure and thanks again to those of you who continually show your love and support.
- Tracy

Carrie and I are back in Florida to spend the weekend with dad. Carrie was able to get here this morning and I came in the evening. When we visited dad tonight, he was rather awake, yet yawning at the same time because he had a big day. He is experiencing some type of infection that the staff is unsure of its origin; possibly from the prostate, or the lungs, or from the central line, which they have now changed locations for. So today he was rather tired because his body is fighting this infection, so he was not off the ventilator today so that he could conserve energy. Even though this is a minor setback, the neurosurgeon still feels he is making progress and looks pretty good, all things considering. There is also the possibility of draining some more fluid from the brain, which may entail a small procedure. One neurosurgeon seems to think that the fluid may be why we have not seen too much mobility in his left arm. However, some tests need to be done before this procedure can be considered.

While we were there this evening, dad was quite animated, as well as affectionate. I got somewhat of a hug from him! He put one arm around my waist and rubbed my back a little, which made me feel really good. Carrie and I said we missed him a few times, and he was able to mouth back "I miss you." There is still some question about his memory at this point; it is unclear how much he remembers about this experience and why he is in the hospital. The nurses and doctors both say that a patient rarely remembers their time spent in the ICU due to the trauma. Overall, the visit was good and I think he was looking a bit better since the last time I saw him. Well, we will be back tomorrow for some more visiting and updates afterward. Thanks again to those of you who have reached out to us and let us know how my father has made an impact on you, whether it be his quiet strength or his direct and honest communication style; Hal Pollack is certainly one of a kind!

Dear Friends and Family,

Hal was very sleepy this afternoon, but it was because he was off the ventilator for 4 hours, which is the longest he has ever been able to breathe on his own through the trach of course, so far.

All his tennis buddies signed a card this morning, and Harvey Yaffee brought it to me. When I read it to Hal, he actually got a smile on his face (even with the tubes in his mouth) so he is understanding what he is hearing. Thanks guys, it was his first smile!!!

As I have said all along, it will be "baby steps" but as long as it is in the right direction I can have patience.

The results of the EEG he had yesterday indicated there is no seizure activity in the brain, so the doctors were pleased about that.

I cannot tell you how impressed I am with the staff in the ICU at St. Mary's. They are absolutely wonderful. Both, with the patients and the over-concerned families.

Again, I thank everyone for their prayers and thoughts, it means a great deal to me and to our daughters, who by the way will be back this weekend so the blog updates will be much more interesting than mine are. They are from the more creative side of the family.

Please keep praying.

Love, Linda

Hi Everyone,

I spent 4 hours with Hal this afternoon, after he had a bath, a breathing session and a physical
therapy session, so he was very tired.
He spent 2 hours off of the ventilator while I was there, so he was very tired when they put him back on the oxygen.

I must remind everyone, as well as myself, that it will be "baby steps" for a long time.
Everytime I sit with him, I tell him how many people have asked, and called, and sent cards, to ask how he is. He joins me in thanking all of you for your thoughts and pryers, and I ask that you please keeps the prayers going.

With Love, Linda & his daughters, Carrie and Tracy

Sunday, Nov. 16 8:30 pm

This Afternoons visit: The three of us were there. Hal was very tired from a bath and a ct scan (we will find out the results tomorrow) so he was sleeping most of the afternoon. They are taking him off of the ventilator for one and two hours at a time, since having the tracheotomy, and he is doing pretty well.

My daughters left tonight and will be back again next weekend.

Again, thanks to all of you for your prayers and thoughts. Greatly appreciated by Carrie, Tracy and me.

With love, Linda

Carrie and I were at the hospital in the afternoon and evening. Mom stayed home for the day to get things done around the house, take a break, and allow us girls to spend some time with our father. The main thing we noticed about him was that he was restless and fidgety. As he becomes more conscious of the situation, he becomes more aware of his limitations, such as not being able to get out of the bed. He wanted to peel the tape off holding the feeding tube in place, as well as some of the tape holding in the IVs. Also as he become cognizant, he tries to communicate more through nonverbal gestures, as well as mouthing words because he is still unable to speak with the trach tube. A few times we were able to figure out what he was saying, but at other times Carrie and felt really frustrated because we could not figure out what he was saying, therefore unable to be of help to him. We tried to have him write something down, but since he cannot use his left hand, and his right hand does not have adequate strength, that proved to be fruitless. We did bring some more photos in of us and the dogs so that he could begin to recognize and remember who we are.

I think it is way too soon to know just how much he understands, comprehends, as well as remembers. Yesterday I felt myself wanting to assess his level of cognition, functioning and mental status, and I had to step out of the professional role and into the daugther role and just let my dad be himself and accept where he is at the moment. Maybe it is best if we don't respond to attempts to communicate so that he does not get upset with our inability to understand; instead maybe we should just encourage him to rest and save his energy for healing. This is the most frustrating and difficult process I have ever experienced and I want to make sense of it but I don't know how. I just still can't believe this is really happening.

When Carrie and I went back for evening visiting hours, we noticed how exhausted he is, which is due to several reasons. The respiratory therapist has him on a cycle of using the vent for an hour and then having him breathe on his own for an hour. This is an exhausting process, not to mention the amount of futzing they do with him around the clock. There is also the possibility of dad having sleep apnea, so he is waking up constantly and never getting restful sleep. His level of discomfort keeps him up, as well as the ICU being a really noisy and busy place, therefore the circadian rhythms get totally screwed up. Last night they provided him with a sleeping medication, Ambien, so let's hope he finally got some rest. We want to be able to give his body ample time to heal, and that can't happen if he is awake and uncomfortable all the time. So we will all go back today for the afternoon visiting hours, and then Carrie and I head home until next weekend, when we both come back to spend more time with dad. As we left the room last night when visiting hour were over, we said to him "you have to stay here; we will be back tomorrow." Without the ability to use words, the look on his face conveyed just how confusing and unfair this situation is, and I could not agree more.

- Tracy

Here is a picture of my dad going up a ladder, putting my mom's curtains up in our living room. When I saw this picture it made me think of the up hill battle my dad must be going through right now, but there is also a metaphor of rising up and accomplishing a goal....
My dad had the trach put in today and what seemed like a scary thing at first for me and my family ended up being the right thing. My dad was awake all day and seemed to have more energy and was more alert. The nurses all say that this is easier on the patient and in the end they will get off of the ventilator faster and today I believed them! He just seems more present and has his eyes open wider and is aware of everything around him. When a particularly loud nurse came in and asked how he was doing today, he looked at her and promptly stuck his tongue out at her...we were quiet for a second and then burst out laughing. The nurse then stuck her tongue out at him! That seemed like my dad; taking no bullshit and feeling fearless when it comes to letting people know what is on his mind. He is moving his left arm better and actually tried to write something on a piece of paper tonight after he became frustrated trying to tell us something. He wasn't able to write with his right hand since he is a lefty but we figured out what he was asking for and we were able to help him.

My sister had a great idea tonight. Since this afternoon he seemed confused after we asked him who we were, I printed out some big pictures of us and took them in tonight for him to look at. When he saw the picture he lit up and really looked at them. I told him who everyone was and he asked for me to tape them to the wall (although he cannot speak with the trach in, he motioned to the wall). He grabbed my hand a lot for me to hold him and pulled me down to his face because he wanted to kiss my cheek. I know he is just foggy and waking up slowly. Today and tonight was the most awake and aware he has been since the accident. After being away for 4 days and then coming back I was really nervous as to what he would be like but after today I feel a sense of relief in seeing him more awake and responsive. They are already talking about when he will get out of the ICU and that also is really hopeful! Tracy just got in tonight so tomorrow we will be back again !

Hi everyone. Hal was not able to pass the test to remove the ventilator, so they are doing a tracheotomy this morning. They feel this will improve his breathing and get him off of it faster.

He is still following commands, opening his eyes, moving his right side, and squeezing my hand.

When I think of all the things I am used to him accomplishing in a day, now just squeezing my hand and opening his eyes seems monumental me.

Carrie arrived last night, and Tracy comes today. I don't know what I would do without my daughters, they are being a huge help and keep me going.

We still have lots of hope, and please keep him in your thoughts and prayers.
Linda

Wed. Nov 12,

Hal actually gave me a "hands up" wave when I walked in today and he heard my voice.
The physical therapist was with him trying to get him to move his left hand.
They gave him another test this morning to see if they could get him off the ventilator, but unfortunately he failed, but we have hope he will be able to pass it before the deadline.

He is starting to show signs of annoyance, which those of you who know Hal will know that this is a good sign.
Please continue all the good thoughts and prayers.....I know that they are helping.

With Love,
Linda, Carrie & Tracy

So, I see my sister Tracy already posted today...my mom had just asked me to post something but I guess she got there first. I thought I would put up another picture of dad and agree with my sister on how hard it is to be away right now. Somehow it doesn't seem right going on with my daily routine knowing that he is lying in the hospital. I know he is getting better slowly and that the nurses and doctors are taking great care of him but it is very hard to get through the day without getting really emotional. My students here at the Univ. of Tenn have all been really understanding, I think they can tell I am in 2 places in my mind since I have been back. I will be flying back this thursday night for the weekend and will be doing that until christmas break.

When I spoke to my mom tonight to get the update on my dad after her visit today she told me that some people have been asking when is he coming home, or if they could visit. This is going to be a long process everyone, months, we are all going to have to be patient in this recovery process, I am telling myself this too as I write this. I hope that he recovers sooner rather than later but this is going to take some time.

I was talking to my sister online last night and we were sharing our thoughts about how it felt to be with him in the hospital and see him in the condition he is in. This is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life, I can only imagine what is going through his head everyday. He is an amazing man, father and friend and I love him very much. I know you all love him too and I appreciate everything that everyone has done for my family.
-Carrie

So Carrie and I are at our respective homes now and have been keeping in touch with the nurses at the hospital and mom to get the updates on how dad is doing. The nurse today reported that they will try the ventilation test again tomorrow. They wanted to give dad a rest in between days so that he could regain his strength. The nurse also said he moved his left arm a bit, which is exciting if it was more than a reflex. He is also more awake and giving more nonverbal cues about his level of comfort.

It is very difficult to be away from him right now. I am back at work and the patients are keeping me busy, but at the same time my heart is not here. It is with my dad. I can't wait to get back there this Friday to spend time with him and be by his bedside. I will let everyone know how he is doing from my perspective. As you all can see, we are each having a very different experience with what is happening, but one thing remains consistent: our love for Hal.
Tracy

No significant changes today.
For tomorrow:
They will be doing another test to see if he can get off the ventilator.
They will also be doing another CT Scan to make sure of no additional bleeding.
He is still running a temperature.
He squeezed my hand and opened his eyes breifly.
He shook his head in response to a question.

We have to be patient and appreciate the "baby steps".

We want to thank all of you for your concern, your thoughts and your prayers......
We need them all.

With love, Linda, Carrie & Tracy

Yesterday dad seemed more awake and alert. We knew because every time he opened his eyes, his blood pressure and heart rate would increase, and of course he reached for the ventilation tube. He wants that tube out, and who can blame him?! The nurse said that they would be checking his oxygen levels in his blood, and if they were within normal range, they would perform a test to see if he can control his own breathing, enough so that they could remove the ventilation tube. There is the possibility of a tracheotomy depending on how labored his breathing still is, but that would not be permanent either. Today they are turning off the morphine and sedation to perform the ventilation trial. Keep your fingers crossed that they can take it out. We know he would be so much more comfortable and calm once that is removed.

Carrie and I are going home tonight to get back to work, although it is extremely difficult to leave dad. We are also concerned about our mom, so those of you that are close by, please be sure to check in on her and offer your support. She needs all the help she can get right now, and we all know that asking for help is not her strength. Carrie is leaving Hiro with mom so that Dexter has a buddy to keep him company. The dogs also help us because they are such a source of happiness, and a much needed distraction at times. Carrie and I will come back on the weekends to be with dad and track his progress. One of us will update the blog on a daily basis so that everyone will remain in the loop of how Hal is doing. Again, thanks to all of you for showing such love and support to all of us!

Another day at the hospital. Things are progressing on a positive avenue. We are hopeful, and are learning new and different ways of looking at everything. We feel he knows we are there when in response to our voices he opens his eyes. He is still on a ventilator, but they have begun the process of weening him off of it.

Our daughters are still here and have been amazingly helpful and are my inspiration for a good outcome. They have taught me new things on the computer, and have even brought me into the 21st century by teaching me to pay all the bills on-line.

So this is my first attempt at updating the "BLOG" since it is so important to us to keep everyone informed.
I am afraid this is going to be a long haul, longer than it will take Hal's hair to grow back in. In 44 years I have never seen my husband with a bald head.

Thank you to everyone for your thoughts, prayers and support, it is much appreciated.
With love, Linda

November 6, 2008

We are so thankful to all of you who have shown your love and support for our family. It really is comforting to know that dad is loved by so many people. Mom, Carrie and I are also so appreciative to those who have both already helped us with things like taking care of dogs, feeding us, and giving us hugs, as well as those who have offered to help because believe me, you will be called on soon!! My mother is not so good at asking for help, so some of you may just need to step in and force it upon her...i assure you, she will not turn you down as you are shoving a casserole in her hand!

My father is doing as good as can be expected right now. The scariest part of all of this is the look in his eyes when he awakens and has a moment of what I think is clarity. He has not been in the hospital since he was in his 20s for an appendectomy...we should all be so lucky to be as healthy and fit as my father. But I also find a sense of security with that look in his eyes because it means he is cognizant and aware of the experience.

The CT scan tomorrow should provide us with some more information about his status. We will certainly let everyone know the update when we come home from the hospital in the afternoon. Again, thanks for the care and concern that each and every one of you have shown. We are deeply moved at how much you all adore my father.

It was a long day at the hospital, but all was good. They have begun decreasing the ventilator which is great news. I was talking with Tracy tonight as we were visiting about how we were hearing different breathing sounds; I think we could hear the difference between dad's breaths and the machine and we just want to keep hearing more of dad's!

Tomorrow they will be doing another CT scan to see if there is any improvement with the bleeding; we will post the results when we find out. They did put a filter in his leg to prevent clots going from his legs to the upper part of his body. The nurses let us know this was routine for any trauma patient and it is comforting to me they are taking precautions for other things beside the head. The nurses have been so amazing at St. Mary's. All of them have been so understanding with all of our questions and anxieties, and boy do we have a lot of them right now.

Other things that are important to note are they are also slowly decreasing his sedative and morphine to be able to get him more responsive both for the weening off of the ventilator and to keep checking his mental status. I think today we saw more activity than any other day.

There is a long way to go though. I am not sure he knows exactly what happened and what is going on. Every time he seems to wake up he immediately tries to lift his right hand and becomes anxious. We keep telling him he is ok, the tube will be out soon and that he is making amazing progress. I am sure it is a lot for him to take in and probably a lot of it disappears each time he falls back to sleep.

Thank you to everyone who is calling and writing to send your love! We really appreciate all of your support!

Dad was really active today and tonight. We had great news last night; the nurses let us know that they will not be putting the pressure bolt in his head to check for swelling since they do not think there is any! He has been responsive to commands and is opening his eyes and shaking his head. They also let us know they slowly started decreasing the use of the ventilator!!! Every time he has opened his eyes and is responsive, he has tried to grab the tube and take it out; he sure does want to get that out to start talking and let us know he is getting better. His mouth has been moving and I know he has a lot to say right now.

The nurse tonight said they they will be checking the oxygen level later tonight and if it is still high then they will make another adjustment, getting closer and closer to taking the tube out.

They will be doing another CT scan on Friday morning to reassess the bleeding and check for swelling. We are of course hoping to see the blood draining and still no swelling. Keep your fingers crossed and we will keep you posted!

On Sat. Nov 1, 2008 Hal accidentally fell and hit his head. My mom, after seeing that something was wrong, called 911 and Hal was taken immediately to St. Mary's hospital. After receiving a CT scan, we found out that he was bleeding on the top right side of his brain, which was accumulating and shifting his brain to the side. The excessive bleeding was a result of a blood thinning medication, Coumadin, that he was taking for atrial fibrillation, which he had been experiencing for the past few months.

Upon arrival to the ER, he began to lose consciousness and was put on a ventilator. It was determined that he needed surgery to remove the blood that was accumulating on his brain. Dr. Zegehye, a neurosurgeon, performed the surgery and reported that it was successful and he felt that he had removed most of the blood, but some remained which would be reabsorbed on its own. After the surgery, Hal was admitted to the ICU. He has had several CT scans post-operatively which indicate no new bleeding or swelling. The nurse was able to remove the drain from his head, he remains on a ventilator and is slowly recuperating. He is currently able to follow commands (e.g., "wiggle your toes", "give thumbs up", "squeeze your hand"), is opening his eyes and indicating that the tube down his throat is uncomfortable, and the nurse said she could have sworn that he gave her a look of annoyance the other day when she was asking him to make some purposeful movements; now that is the Harold Pollack we all know and love! We of course want him to be more awake, indicating that forward progress is being made, but the more awake he becomes, the more aware he is of what is going on. We are sure of he could talk right now, he would say "Get me the f#!k out of here!"

Linda, Carrie and Tracy are visiting everyday when allowed and speaking with the nurses and doctors on a regular basis. We know he knows we are there, and we are letting him know that everyone is asking about him as well as sending love and prayers.

We are going to try and update this blog every day to let you know of his progress. My mom appreciates every one's calls and wants to let everyone know whats is happening without feeling overwhelmed with having to give updates to everyone individually. There is a lot going on and we are trying to figure out how to deal with everything while staying centered enough to go and see Hal and focus on him and his recovery.

You can post a response to each days post if you would like to share your thoughts or feelings.

I have so much confidence in my dad and his strength and love that I know he is doing everything he can to get better. We have a lot of hope and feel like things are going in a slow but steady rate towards making a recovery!