With Love

Hello friends and family. We wanted to let everyone know that our best friend, Hal, passed away this afternoon at 2:10 pm, surrounded by his three girls holding his hands. He was not in any pain and he appeared to be peaceful. We were so lucky to have had the time in Hospice to be with him. There were many tears, but more so, there were funny and loving stories being shared about Hal and all the people in his life. We are very sad but we also are celebrating his life and how fortunate we are to have been a part of it.

Dad's funeral services will be held at Star of David Cemetery and Funeral Chapel, Tuesday March 24th at 12 o'clock pm. The address is 9321 Memorial Park Road, West Palm Beach, FL 33412. The telephone number is (561) 627-2277. There will be a funeral service and burial for those who can attend. Everyone is welcome at our home afterwards for some food, comfort and sharing funny stories about dad.

For those of you from out of town that might be able to attend, please feel free to contact Dignity Memorial Bereavement Travel Program at 1-800-224-4177 and reference number 4129 for assistance with your travel arrangements from 7am-10pm CST.

There are several hotels in the area that can be reserved. Here are a few to choose from:

Marriot
4000 RCA Blvd.
Palm Beach Gardens, FL 33410
561-622-8888

Embassy Suites
4350 PGA Blvd.
Palm Beach Gardens, FL 33410
561-622-1000

Doubletree
4431 PGA Boulevard
Palm Beach Gardens, Florida 33410
561-622-2260

In lieu of flowers, anyone can make a donation to Hospice of Palm Beach County, specifically the Hospice at Palm Beach Gardens Hospital, for the wonderful and compassionate angels who took care of my father and my family during this difficult time. Without them, we would not have made it through the past 11 days we spent by his bedside. Many nurses, doctors, and CNAs now hold special places in our hearts for the love and attention they showed us and my father. The address is:
HPBC
Charles W. Gerstenberg Hospice Center
5300 East Ave.
West Palm Beach, FL 33407-2387

If you have any questions about your donation, you can call (561) 227-5142.

We want to thank again everyone who read this blog faithfully, who called us to check in and ask how we were, who emailed to say they were thinking of us, or who just held us in their thoughts on a daily basis. Without the strength and support of you all, we would not have been able to endure what we have since Nov. 1. Words will never be able to express how much we thank each and every one of you.

With much love from my dad and from us,

The Pollacks

My beautiful father

Dad is still in Hospice and holding on. The doctors and nurses all say he has a strong heart, and we know he has a strong will and spirit as well.

Carrie, mom and I have continued to stay with him as his days become fewer. Although there is no response on his end, we continue to talk to him, touch him, and treat him as if he is our number one. We have tried to give him some more "privacy" because the staff at the hospital have all said that he might not let go if we are around because he does not want us to have that as our final memory of him, or because he still wants to be part of the gang. I like to believe it is the latter, because dad always felt most comfortable and happiest with his family, spending time with his three girls.

It is hard to give him his space. I don't want him to be alone when he chooses to go, but I have been told that we don't decide that; it is already decided between my dad and his higher power.

We will be with him at that final moment, whether or not we are present in his room. We will always be with him and he with us, and I know he knows that.

My dad is awesome. My dad loves me more than anything or anyone. Ok, ok, so he loves my mom and Carrie equally as well, but he has this way of making us feel that we each hold a special place in his heart. He is the best father. He is the best friend. He is the best person I know because of his simplicity and honesty. He loved life and cherished all the moments. I believe that he will also cherish these last moments because my family has become closer throughout this experience. My father has brought us closer together because that is where he felt most at peace; with us.

I love you dad more than you will ever understand.
Love Tracy

family

Hello all,

I just wanted to share this great picture of my family taken by joyce chapnick, a long time family friend.

We are still here at hospice spending the last family time with my dad. He is comfortable and in no pain, probably laughing at our conversations that we are having with him reminiscing of great family memories. We are so lucky to be having this time to say goodbye to him. I think the thoughts we are having right now are how fortunate we are to have been a part of dad's life, he has lived long and well and we are so lucky. He has been so loved by us and by all of you.

We will post more later.

Love to everyone!

-Carrie

Many thanks

Hi all. We are still here at Hospice, spending time with dad and making sure he is comfortable. We have been with him 24/7, eating in the room, sleeping in the room, watching TV, talking, laughing, crying. We want it to feel somewhat like home for him because we know he can hear us. We know he knows he has his girls with him, and he can feel peaceful knowing that he is not alone.

We wanted to say a special thanks to our Aunt Jinny, who has provided us with such relief, not only through her care of us, but of our furry, four-legged friends, Dexter and Hiro. She has watched them for us from the moment we came to the hospital. They are hanging out with her and her two dogs and cat, and they are enjoying themselves at their extended "sleepover". Thanks Aunt Jinny, you are such a special and wonderful person to us and we can not thank you enough for your generosity and compassion. We are so lucky to have you as a member of our family. We love you very much.

We will keep everyone updated on dad's status. He is resting calmly and peacefully and still holding on. We know he knows how much we love and cherish him.

Hospice

Hello everyone,

This is so difficult and sad to say that my dad has been moved to the Hospice wing at Palm Beach Gardens Medical Center after being in the ICU for 2 weeks. Dad was moved on Tuesday afternoon after a few days of really tough talks with the doctors and nurses we had been working with. This was such a hard decision and was not made lightly by my family. I want everyone to know that the doctors did everything they could and we thought of all possible options. In the end my mom, sister and I knew that this was the right thing for my dad as he would not want to be here in the condition that he is currently in.

In the last few days in the ICU we learned more about what happened and what we were faced with. On the night of the seizures he suffered at Chatsworth my dad also experienced a major infarction in his brain, basically a stroke without bleeding in his brain. My sister and I were able to get to the hospital 2 days after this happened and were with him for 10 days. When I got here he was heavily sedated, on a respirator and still having seizures we just couldn't see them since he was so sedated. He also came into the hospital with MRSA, a staff infection and was then put in isolation. After they got him stable and resting for a few days they began to decrease the sedation to try to wake him up. This is a difficult process since he has a brain injury already. we spent a few days going back and forth and throughout this time we started seeing the seizures since the sedation was being taken away to wake him up in order to see if he could breathe on his own. The seizures ranged in size and time but all were scary and not a good sign as far as showing the new trauma to the brain. When the seizures occur we were told that it was the brain shutting down and saying the connections were not working properly. He did finally get off the vent and had a day when he had his eyes open and was responding slightly to commands such as squeeze my hand, wiggle your toes, etc but he could not speak and could not really move his body or hold his head up. This changed pretty fast. He began to be unresponsive, not opening his eyes and not following commands. It was also at this time that he developed pneumonia as well as a blood clot in his arm. The second CT scan showed the infarction as well as parts of his brain that had been damaged and died.

My dad came so far after his first accident. We were so lucky to get 4 more months with him. He worked so hard and was so brave. His body just couldn't take any more and started to give out. My mom, sister and I know that he would not want to live in the condition he has been in the last 2 weeks. So we are all here at the Hospice together to be with my dad and support each other. My dad is being made as comfortable as possible and is being well taken care of by the nurses, they are actually taking care of us too which we greatly appreciate through this really hard time.

I can't really say any more than that as we are taking it hour by hour and day by day. There is space for us all to sleep in my dad's room so we are with him and together which is all we really want right now.

I know that you all love my dad and we wanted you to know where we are. I will post when I can to keep you informed. My family could not have gotten through this experience without all of your love and support and I thank you. Please keep saying those special prayers, all kinds help.

-Carrie

Our fearless leader

Well, what can I say? There are no words that can describe the experience we are having. Pain, sadness, frustration, anger, sorrow. None of these seem to touch the depth of feelings that are right below the surface layer of skin. If I were to allow myself to feel these, I am afraid that I might not be able to get up in the morning because it does not seem fair to go on living when my dad is so close to death.

The questions that go through my mind are ones that I am sure others have asked when faced with the loss of someone very special and important to them. Why did this have to happen? Why is it his time to go? What am I supposed to learn from this experience? What do I do now?

My dad has pneumonia, which is interfering with his breathing, and he is unable to clear his own airway. The doctors spoke of another tracheotomy, but only for comfort purposes. He also has a blood clot in his arm, which is causing his heart to have to work harder to pump. These maladies are on top of the multitude of other problems he is having. How much more can an 80-year-old man go through? Not much.

My dad is very sick. He is not going to get better this time. He has fought so hard to come back from his accident, and he has proven how strong and courageous he is; but we already knew this. His body and mind have gone through more than one can endure, and he was able to "recover" for a period of time, which was an absolute miracle. We are so proud of him!

My father is the most brave man I know. I want to be just like him when I grow up.

I love you dad with all my heart and soul. You will always be my inspiration.

Love your little one,
Tracy

saturday

Hello everyone,

Tracy left today and I am getting ready to go tomorrow although I will be back next week for spring break. It is so hard to leave with my dad still in the ICU and so many unanswered questions. I think we are all going a little crazy, but we are strong, like my dad so we are all still hanging in.

There are a few new things to report but still a lot of unknowns...my dad was finally taken off of the ventilator a few days ago! hurray! but he seems to have pneumonia which is really scary as people can have serious complications from this especially someone in a frail condition like my dad. We are so happy to have him off that freaky thing as seeing him fight it yet again is really hard. He is breathing on his own and is just using a little oxygen in the nose although he has a lot of secretions and isn't really able to cough well yet so he is getting suctioning every few hours which has got to irritate your throat.

He is still having seizures. Tracy and I saw a really active one last night and my mom and I saw 2 smaller ones today. The nurse said he had one this morning as well so the doctor has upped his seizure meds. The one we saw today hardly affected his heart rate, pulse or breathing so who knows how many of those he has been having since they check on him every hour and when his monitor registers some activity so he could be having small seizures by himself. The seizures make him really tired as well as the seizure meds having a slight sedative effect so he is sleeping a lot of the time. He has not spoken yet and we are not sure if he can. Last night I thought I saw him mouth bathroom as he tried to get out of bed with what little strength he has. We are not really seeing a lot of response from him. He can squeeze our hands, wiggle his toes and nod yes and no only selectively. I think he is really in and out of awareness. We just don't really know yet. Dr. Shallop is going to do a CT scan tomorrow which will hopefully tell us more but we don't know that even.

We are kinda back at the beginning and this is frustrating for everyone, only 2 weeks ago we were planning to take my dad home. We are so tired and a little lost, very angry and confused and just trying to get through everyday. We go to the hospital 3 times a day to be with him and that is all we can do.

We will update the blog when we know more. Thanks to everyone being patient with us and sending good thoughts and prayers. Any one close by please keep an eye on my mom this week, i'll be back on monday the 16th.

xoxox
Carrie